Forgiving Yourself for Embarrassing Drunken Behavior

My friend and I got drunk together and I completely backed out with vague memories of what happened, I thought it was just a little oopsie because you do stupid things when you’re drunk. But it wasn’t. It was so much worse. I remember making advances on my friend but when they said what actually happened I don’t know how I can live with myself anymore. I just wouldn’t leave them alone and I was kept on trying to make stuff happen to the point where my friend was crying and I didn’t even know. It could have been much much worse, but I didn’t even realize how unsafe and scared my friend was in that moment. I didn’t even remember what happened. I said all that I could to him and I’m giving him space. I can’t stop thinking about how damaged and betrayed they must feel. That your best friend just completely abused you when you were expecting a fun night with a friend. I know we won’t ever be friends again, and I don’t even care if they forgive me. I want them to be okay. I don’t know how to forgive myself because it feels like more that just embarrassment. My drunkenness didn’t only affect me, it hurt others. Which I can stand. I don’t even drink often, but every time I do, it’s awful. Escpecially this time.

I used to be a heavy drinker, like 3-8 beers a day heavy. Never did anything stupid to the level of embaressment; we all we drinking and it was understood to my friends crazy stuff may just hapen so we all took silly brawls, stupid comments and property destruction with a grain of salt. That is if ammends were made of course. My drininking didn't really stop but since 2015 it was at the point of like 1 beer a week. The other night I drank because of nervousness; and low self esteem and the feeling was givng me majori issues. I ended up blacking in and out; and my activities during this time (thank the universe) were only in my own home with 2 of my best friends.
I was rambling, I was trespassing in my roommate's room (above friend #1) blatantly just taking things and tossing them around. I would k eep going in my room and saying I was ok, let me lie down, then under 10 seconds I'd be walking out into the living room again and acting a general moronic dickhead as if nothing happened.. I kept saying the same things, i was reading aloud my thoughts. How much or what I drank is irrelevant to my post here. I was blacked out is the issue. The details are to myself spared as it pains me to think im even capable of what I was told i was doing. I remember a bit of the worst.... I took a shower, got out fully nude no care in my mind stumbled around "acting normal" and walked into the living room and sat down on the tv couch in full glorious view of two people I really have respect for as a clear headed mindset. But no, it was as if being soaking wet, dishevel and nude was normal. GOD how could this have happened. is all i keep saying. I must have thought I was clothed or at least covered. I fear this is really going to ruin friend #1 \ 2 and my own relationship wioth myself which isn't great all the time anyway.
Once i sobered up I just played recluse in my room . 1# he took my dog out, the trash dishes etc. Once my shaking hands (they still are sorry for any typos) and nerve was adequate he asked if i was clear headed, I said yes. He told me we've had this convo 11 times in the past 2 hours last night. So I sat there and he sure let me have it. I didn't even know what to say I was jaw dropped. He told me what I had did, previously it was all just a blur. I knew something bad had happened but not what. He started bringing up past events, attributes on my personality and mindset generally in life which were shocking as he had never mentioned any of these events as having such a lasting impact. I understand that concept of empathy; im not a sociopath, but it only pushed my grief and pain and shame deeper down. I was so distraught I panicked and asked why he didn't tell me before, I asked why he didnt he said I'm a grown man I should know. He pulled the scalding father card "youre lucky we didnt kick your ass or knock you out' etc... His response was seething anger. His main tangent of arguing was that this is an ongoing issue. Not the drinkking or the INSANE drunk criminal behavior, but just aspects of what Ive done on impulse day to day that bother him. For example once I ate a few ceral bars and took a pack of smokes from him. We've been friends years, and each those times I made it right after him catching me red handed (strawberry filled bars) and for the latter I just straight up admitted it to him. He forgave me then. I took responsibility. He then went on and brought up things I didn't know about or even realize were HUGELY bothering him. I will omit the details but its similarly comparable in level of dastardliness to when I went into with entering his room while he's at work to say grab a pen or a pair of shorts. Those are examples and yes it's wrong to not ask an do that. Plain and simple. I know that and I never did those kind of thiings again. It's impulsive my stupid mind; it needs to be told not to do things otherwise my impuslivity will kiill me, He mentioned "he can't bring people over" becausae he's "afraid" I would offend. Not, buy drinking or acting a loon but just who I Am. I speak my mind so I get that people don't like to hear the truth. This is something I will work on now that it has hurt others. All this must have been his anger at me spilling over into other aspects of our living situation. GOing back into the previous night, he slayed me out some more: I was apparently also disrespectful verbally, and mumbling to people who weren't there; hallucinating and mumbling to my self incoherently. I was 0-100 with my impulse. How can I get him to believe me that I have learned and will by GOD NEVER do this. Im shaking crying and in so much shame but so defeated I can't even bear myself. Is that empathy? is that guiilt? I really feel I deserve the chance to prove that this was isolated; yet i twas so extreme how can I ever not forget but move on? I had no regard for anyone or theyre respect or dignity. I mean I committed indecent exposure essentially. Thats illegal here in the states! I didn't get sick or pass-out... I wish i did. I Just kept coming out my room nude 3 or 4 times, taking stuff that wasnt mine or moving our furniture. My friend (if he still is) 2 left in apparent disgust. I must have humiliated him and embarrassed not only me but especially those who trust me. I'm so overridden with pain now. Drinking never turned its back until Yesterday Feb 22 2018. I honestly can forgive myself, I honestly can move on, I know that honestly God forgives me or whatever the concept forgives me.
Next steps are improvement only. That has become my newfound M.O. No more booze. I feel i have the passion to follow through with that, as I have many aspirations and passions and dreams. I feel i can conceptualize this because I am mentally fit personality wise but i Know i must suffer from something else, like a physiological mental illness that causes this. Although, is it really too much to ask someone who claims to be your good close friend, someone who didn't beat the %%%% out of me when i deserved it the most, someone so accepting to the point where it bottles and burst out of them to keep me in line for his own sanity? For at least his own peace of mind.
Well...
It's the next next day now I had to take off time to myself and basically recluse in my room circling all that I did and remembered and beating myself badly.. i mean really doing a number. Nothing anyone could say to me has hurt me as much as I beat myself up. It will be soon he's home again... and as far as his demeanor it's been ignore, walk by or quick Hi, and his here or there. I really wanna know how to approach this. During the initial brief convo today earlier he didn't want to talk or hear my subjective experience. IS that important for him? I believe it should have been addressed at once so he can feel the empathy or at least feel sorry for me... Why did he bottle it up, all these minor things, things i would have gladly undone, changed or affirm and make right. Why did he wait until I do the ultimate stupid thing of my past 27 years. I told him (since nothing was broken) I would clean up the house and make it back to normal i.e. make it right physically. I asked for basic forgiveness with a valid sincere "brother I have made a bad judgement and my actions/behavior were incomprehensibly inexcusable" He didn't forgive me I think, at least didn't say it and albeit amicable he was not wanting to hear it I could tell.
It's a few hours later and he is a lot chipper. I'm still a dead mess mentally. I am so ashamed. I want to lay out how I feel to him, but first ask him what is an appropriate set of boundaries to frame around the conversation. He was on the phone as I type. I told him real quick I wanted to talk.. Its al I can do, but I may never forgive my self. Just learn from my own actions and learn from the words of people who care about you. Maybe it will end up taking going our sepparate ways, which is sad and I will have that chip on me my whole life. I accept life for what it throws at you now though, and I just have to start rolling with it and quit worrying about what people think of me. They aren't important, not when my own mental anguish is causing my issues. It comes off callus but its the best thing I can think of doing now if we arent' on improved or amicable terms after this travesty. Advise? What do you think I should have done differently and do next? I know im a responsible adult but is it so bad to ask for a little outside accountability? Not baby sit just if someone says they are a good friend why is that such a difficult thing? This whole situation could have been avoided, (not me drinking, just friends 1 and 2 helping someone obivously in need instaid of just waiting it out and hating me for it.... I've been told I hold others accountable with their mistakes and they have thanked me. I wish someone can clear up my turbulent mind and make sense of this all for me. Please I can take all the shame humilation but I can't understand how this could have happened the way it did. When I asked friend 1 said "we tried closing you in your room, and locking the door" but my door doesn't lock he knows that.... Idk ive got so much cognitive dissonance IDK what im going to do.

I am struggling with self forgiveness months after a bad day on the booze. Weirdly this article and reading everyone else's story in the comment section has made me feel a bit better so I guess it's only fair to share.
My sweet best friend paid for me to come visit and attend an event with her and her friends - this involved weeks of excitement. On the day, I experimented with tequila for the first time (bad idea) and got too drunk to the point where I blacked out. The next day I discovered I had done some pretty horrible things; pushed people, attempted to start fights, cursed at her friends and basically just be an a** for most of the day. Alcohol usually doesn't have this affect on me and blacking out is super rare. I feel like I would be able to forgive myself easily in different circumstances but letting my best friend down like that makes me feel sick to my stomach months late =[ She has forgave me but it is going to make me even more time to forgive myself.

I ruined Christmas AGAIN because of booze! FML! I had started a new relationship summer of '17... Finally, I met the man of my dreams... I adore him and still do however he is not feeling the same towards me... especially after the episode this Christmas Eve. I can't drink....plain and simple and I am completely embarrassed of my behavior...and extremely depressed because I have lost him. Let's go back to a few months after we met.... episode 1... We were having drinks and once again I had way more than I could handle and insecurity not feeling good enough started creeping in.... Started telling him to go back to his ex and family and that he didn't love me. The next day I felt so ashamed...and apologized. He forgave me thank goodness. Now lets one year ago.... Episode 2... We are fairly new couple, our first Christmas together- we were head over heels for eachother and so happy that we found eachother (we are in our 40's and was new to the dating game ) A couple of nights before Christmas I had my friend in town for the holidays so naturally she came over to visit me. This is the first time for her meeting him and we had a blast! Then another friend came over ( was not invited by me but by the friend who was visititing) I had recently just started talking again to this "friend" after over a year of not talking so our relationship was still shaky. By the time she arrived I was already buzzing pretty good and my crazy mind was going...I could feel insecurity running thru my mind. Both of the friends left for a moment to go grab ice. During that time I lashed out at my boyfriend accusing him starring at the friend #2... Screaming at him that he was smittened with her etc.... saying some pretty mean things that he did not deserve He ended up leaving my house and I continued to drink by myself , In a rage... throwing presents, crying etc. This continued well into the next day. My neighbor called the cops and I received a noise complaint and a fine. I don't remember talking to the police at the door. My daughter filled me with the details as she came to my house at some point during my drinking bindge... After 2 days of drinking, it was time for me to hide in my bed, die with a hangover and hate myself for my behavior. My boyfriend came back, and told me he loved me and took care of me. He forgave me for my actions. I was so grateful that he still loved me. We put it behind us and enjoyed what was left of the holidays. Now lets move onto Episode 3 ... In May we went to Cuba for a week.... 2 Nd day in once again I drank too much and started a fight....that he wasn't attracted to me , that he didn't love me and so on. Needless to say he was hurt and upset with me a didn't talk to me for a good day... I apologized once again and asked him if we can please just enjoy the rest of our trip and It's best that I don't drink too much... We started speaking to eachother but through the rest of the trip it was off... I could feel the distance...I really fucked up and he was pulling away from me ... We arrived home and things started to get back to loving normalcy for us..... Months go by and we are back to the lovingcouple that I adored until one night this November....we are having wine....again I am drinking way too much... Started getting rude and saying mean things...shit he doesn't deserve. He told me he hates when I drink that I am a different person and that he is sick of it. He went to bed.... I slept on the couch. He didn't speak to me for a good couple of days...I begged him for his forgiveness and that I was sorry again... He told me the next time I treat him like that again that he is done with me. That he is not putting up with it.... he says in one breath that I am an alcoholic then says he don't care if I drink but I can't act the way I do and treat him so horribly or hes gone .... Now lets bring you to this Christmas Eve.... We go out, finish our shipping, come home have a beautiful seafood dinner and WINE..... Well I guess u know what happens next... Yep I drink too much and we are fighting , screaming at eachother.... He smashed our pictures.... Told me we were done..( as he said would happen if this shit happened again).... Woke up the next day (Xmas day) and cried ....so ashamed .... Gifts still sitting under our tree, him not speaking to me, my family worried about us, it is 4 days after the he does not want to talk to me. I have tried to communicate with him but he doesn't want to talk to me I seriously ruined it....I have contacted AA for some help.... I know full well I cannot drink...That it had ruined and will continue to ruin everything in my life. I have been feeling ashamed, sad, angry, lonely for days...all because of my alcoholic behavior. I Quit... I am done. I have a long road ahead of me but I will do this. Losing my love may be the savoir I need. Kills me that I hurt him so much.... So ashamed but hopefully in time we will both heal. Thanks for listening to me. Be good to one another xo

Two nights ago I went to my girlfriend's family Christmas party. This was my third time going with her. They have one every year . I hung out with my buddy before meeting my girlfriend to head there. I had a Steelie and a tall can of keystone ice with my buddy then I went to go meet my girlfriend.
Already she could tell I was a little buzzed but I said I was fine. She stops at the gas station on the way there and gets a case of budlight. Immidiately when we go inside her uncle's house all the family is already there and I take the beer and set it on the bar ( her uncle has a built in bar at his house pretty cool) anyway I start drinking more. The night goes on and I think I was already down three beers then I notice the whiskey so I take a shot of whiskey. And then another. That's all the alcohol I remember drinking that night.
Anyway after awhile she told me I need to slow down because I'm the drunkest one there and I'm getting on people's nerves. But apparently I didn't stop. I woke up the next day in my bed and they told me stories of what happened.
Apparently I almost fell on her aunt and her aunt's newbord baby, one of her other family members told her to get me away from her 13 year old son cuz I was talking to him and being drunk and swearing. I don't remember leaving at all. But she told me one of her aunt's breathalyzed me and I blew a 0.27.
She said we left and I was too drunk to go home (we live with my parents and I'm already on strike 2 of coming home belligerent) so we met up with some friends and went to a punk show and I guess I was hanging out with everyone and running up and down the parking lot and acting like a damn fool. They found me with a group of people who I thought I knew but when my cousin found me the people said "thank you for getting her we don't even know who she is". I swear I knew them idk. I have some flashbacks but I don't know what's real or not. Then apparently I got into a fight with my girlfriend and said hurtful shit and then I tried to punch one of my best friends in the head for no reason. Like idk they said I was being really scary and then sometimes funny and then really effing annoying. My girlfriend said I embarrassed her so bad at her families Christmas party and I seriously have been feeling so bad about myself and about that night. I made a fool of myself. I have an alcohol problem but I acknolodge it but then I don't want to be an alcoholic. I want to be able to drink and not black out but every single time I say I can have a couple beers and chill it always turns into me getting so messed up I can't remember things and do foolish and embarrassing things and make people angry. Everyone knows that when I start drinking they're gonna have to deal with my dumbass. I always wake up with such bad hangovers. I can't drink in moderation.
I tried to fight my mom one night. I think I need treatment. I'm just sad.

Thanks for sharing everyone. I'm Feeling awful. I told a girl to f off last night. I was in the wrong and just reacted to her speaking rudely to me. Was like ok I'm in the wrong but you don't have to be rude. So now I'll be rude back but i went overboard.
There's always some truth to what you say when your drunk. Points out I have an issue in dealing with this in real life.
It was at the end of a work Christmas party. Most people had gone and it was a stranger. I'm so ashamed and embarrassed. Worried that work will find out and I'll ruin my career.
In the scheme of things compared with what others have experienced maybe it doesn't sound bad. I've been working hard on myself and it's like... really? Wtf are you doing. Ive done lots of other things I'm not proud of when drunk in life but not so much these days.
I'm going to try forgive myself. I can't apologize as it was a stranger. Pray the girl recognises that I was a drunken fool and doesn't take it to heart.
For those with humiliating stories. I empathize with you. We all have made mistakes. You will get past this. How? By learning from them. You can change. If you repeat the process then you can try again. This never stops.

Hi. I really need help I went on my works night due and everything was great to start with. I was really nervous cos my bosses family was there cos they are only 3 of Han where I work. Anyway one second I wasn’t great the next minute I was in hospital crying to my boss. I have no idea what happened i completely blacked out and I’m so embarrassed bear in mind i was the second youngest there but anyway I went to work today and was so scared and embarrassed to go but my boss messaged me over the weekend asking how I was and stuff I did apologise to her daughters and and my colleague but I still was scared. I got to work and she said I am so disgusted with you I can’t bear look to look at you. You ruined the night for everyone. And hearing all this really makes me wants to end my life. I have depression and I drink to numb the feeling but I’m the past it’s been fine I did have on every night where I tried to kill myself but the police stopped me and I didn’t tell my boss or anyone’s for tht matter only my collegue at work. I’m only 19 and I have ruined everything my boss hates me and so doesn’t her whole family and they have every right to but I don’t know what happened one minute I wasn’t talking to this guy and he buys me a drink we get along and next i was told I could barely walk and I keep crying and trying to say things but it’s isn’t coming out and then I started having a fit infront of my bosses daughter. But before tht apparently I was trying to bite my wrists. And no one knew why. But when they said tht to me I know why would do that. I scratched and bite wrists when I was in high school to try and kill myself and I do it when I get very low and go into a dark place and I’m afraid I’m in it again anf I cant find my way out. And the only way to get out if the embarrassment is to end my life. I guess the answer I’m hopjng for is maybe someone’s has done something like this before and if so how’s long do you feel this way. Cos I really need help and don’t be know how to ask.

I also have a stupid drunken moment that I feel so ashamed and embarrassed.. the other night I went out with friends and then when they were going home I got dropped off at a bar to meet one on my girlfriends ... and I was already prettt drunk I dunno why I just didn’t go home then ... so I went to the bar and I lost control had tonz of shots and drink tonz And I totally blacked out .. and my friend told me the next day that I was totally wasted I feel asleep on the bench made out with some guy and then tried to hit some girl that I got kicked out and then just asked someone for a ride home ... and lucky made it home alright .... and the next day I felt so bad cuz it’s not the first time somethingbad happens .. I’ve decided to quit drinking but I would just like to be able to forgive myself and stop thinking about that night

I drank over the weekend for the first time since new years as alcohol doesn't really sit well with me; and again I proved myself why I shouldnt have bothered. Each time I drink, for some reason I end up in an argument with my partner. Its never her, always me - over the most stupid reasons. I really love her, and it'd kill me if I lost her, she means the world but each time I drink, im embarrasing, horrible and I dont understand why she stays with me? She loves to go out and have a drink with her friends and dance, and she feels safe when I come along but it always seems to end the same way no matter what I drink, it just turns me nasty. I love this girl to pieces, I want to go out with her and dance, have a nice time but I feel like if i carry on she wont stay with me, because why should she have to? I don't act this way on purpose and waking up being told and reading the messages that i sent have just made me feel sick to my stomach, because none of the things I said are remotely true. I am so full of sorry's, I feel like I cant say it enough because the damage is already done. It was my first time meeting her Best Friend and her partner, and i've just made myself look like a cock all because I got jealous over something whilst being a little too drunk and kicking off about it.. I just wish this hadnt have happened, drunk me just seems to overthink without the thinking and just acts on things that arent even true. Right now I dont know what to do, I love my girlfriend so much and I don't want her to leave; but at the same time, I dont want to make her have to put up with this each time she'd like us to have a drink together, so i think im screwed :(

I'm back! Yes it's 3:46 a.m. in the morning, and I'm obliterated. Yeah I went out drinking all kinds of rum and tequila. Oh yeah and tonight's feature, I went around telling people all kinds of things I did that were not true I was making them up to look good. Because you know I'm just not good enough Who I Am by myself I got to be something better something cooler then what I really am. The reason I'm documenting this, so that other people may find some kind of Soace that they're not alone. I'm so incredibly shamed of myself and everything I've done. My wife was so angry when she left last night and I didn't give a f***? All this is my fault all of this is my responsibility. Just 24 hours ago I was posting on this or something much less less embarrassing. Just so you know my wife is probably going to leave me because my drinking. And I don't blame her one bit. How can I expect her to watch somebody she loves kill themselves slowly each day. Just when I thought things were going to get any worse LOL guess what? My worst nightmare Happened. I'm such a loser! My sweet wife just wants me to be healthy and sober. And she's just tired of the alcohol? She works so hard, deserve way better than me. Like I said this morning, I went right out and bought another bottle. I lied to people for no reason, I'm the worst sorry excuse for a human!

Thank you everyone, all of your painful, heartfelt stories really helped me feel like I'm not alone. I drink. I drink alot, I drink every day and in the morning too. I like tequila and it only know how to party.I woke up today and am doing my daily self beating over feeling like the biggest Loser.I really want to quit and I cant? It's scaring the shit out of me. I take Methadone for pain, and I'm drinking over a pint every night or more? I'm afraid that I might go to bed and never wake up? So many things I wish I could take back, just this recurring nightmare that I can't control! FML! I've got to get through today and not drink! I have to but I'm probably gonna go get a fucking bottle as soon as the liquor store opens. I feel so useless.

I was embarrassingly drunk last night at a work party and it has been eating at me.
I am so glad for this article and all the comments; very helpful for me to deal with my embarrassment feelings.
Thank you.

REGRETS for the past two years. I really need help on this. I have deep regrets over my drunken behavior. First, I exposed my HIV positive status before a multitude of villagers and became a laughing stock. I sank in depression and got into more drinking. I once insulted a family friend, one who is my dad's agemate and one who assisted my family in planning for her wedding as a wedding committee chairman. I don't know what to do. I don't know where to start. Never been to my village ever since. Oh, what do I do? Can I be forgiven?? my reputation that was good is spoilt. Please I need an advice.

Thanks for sharing everyone. I've been embarrassing myself for the past 12 years and alcohol has caused me to spend a lot of time in juvie/jail. Every single bad decision I've ever made has been due to alcohol. The time before last (March 2018) I got so drunk that I started hitting on several men while at a party with my boyfriend of 8 years and our 4 kids. I was hitting on married men too and while their wives were there ? although I don't think any of them heard me. My boyfriend nearly left me but his love for my true self would not let him. I feel so bad for him but I can't let him go b.c I feel that I will die alone if I do and I don't even have friends or family because I sabotage all relationships while drunk :'( the last time I drank was about two months ago all alone at home and I don't remember a single thing. I just woke up SOAKED with urine :-( my 2 year old was in the bed with me and I peed so much that the stain almost covers the queen mattress. I just thank the highest power that my boyfriend wasn't here to witness due to being out with his friend. I have a history of flipping out on him when I'm drunk and I don't know why bc. I love that man more than anything in this world. All I know is that I have to leave drunkenness in the past (I'm 26) and I'm almost 1000% sure I can do it b c I'm tired of hating myself and ruining my own life. Thank God my kids haven't felt the full effect of it.. I have more stories fo anyone who needs to hear some more in order to feel better

I went out with a coworker on Friday afternoon for a couple of drinks, which ended up turning into 4 glasses of wine and three shots. Unfortunately, I am one of those drinkers that cannot stop once I start, so I kept going. When I got home, I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood and ended up having drunken conversations with three different neighbors. My husband told me that I was swearing in front of my one neighbors kids. I don't remember any of this. This was the first time that I drank in a year, because I was pregnant and had our second child. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed. I am going to go and apologize to her, but I feel like everyone is now going to think I am the neighborhood drunk because of one stupid day. I am definitely not drinking anymore because it doesn't seem to result in any fun for me anymore, just shame and embarrassment.

A week ago I went to a co-worker party that started around 5 pm. I started drinking right when I got there and everything was going good until the party was coming to an end around 10 pm. When I got into the taxi to head back home, I called one of my friends to see if he wanted to go out. He said yes and he will pick me up from my house. I was pretty drunk when he came to pick me up, but I know I was acting okay because I remember everything. When we arrived at the bar, that's when I remember I started to get bad. I'm having flashbacks about seeing people I knew at the bar, but not remembering how I was acting or what I was saying. I know I am a very generous person when I am drinking and I remember when I saw people I knew, I would offer to buy them a drink. One part of the night I do remember is I was buying drinks at the bar for someone and my card got declined. Apparently, I had made too many transactions on my card that day and my bank decided to cut me off. I am stressing very bad about my behavior this night for many reasons. First, I've lived in this town for a long time and have been know to be "that guy" at the bar who is always super drunk. Second, a large portion of the people that live in this town go to the place I work at and I remember seeing a lot of them that night. Third, I have had a lot of problems with alcohol in my past. I have been known to do ridiculous things when I am blacked out and I'm pretty sure that this time was no different. My friend that I went to the bar with ending up leaving shortly after we arrived so he wasn't there that long. He called me the next day to make sure I got home okay because he said I was "real fucked up" and was "being real generous towards people by buying them drinks." The thing I'm worried about is that I can't remember what time my card got declined and I'm pretty sure I stayed at that bar until closing time at 1:30 a.m., so I'm hoping that I didn't do anything too bad after that happened. Something small like that can trigger me to act completely different when I am intoxicated. The reason I am stressing so much is because it was such a long black out and I cannot remember how I acted or who saw me. I just know that I saw a lot of people I knew there and a lot of people I do know, go to this bar every weekend. It's been over a week and I haven't drank since and do not plan to. I'm worried though because this has happened before and I wouldn't drink for a few months, but then repeat this behavior after I have gotten over it. This has happened too many times and I'm now 28 years old and sick of feeling the shame and embarrassment of things I do when I am drinking. Maybe I am just overthinking it because I had so much of a blackout that I am just assuming the worst had happened. Whatever the case may be, I am tired of being that drunk idiot at the bar and feeling so humiliated that I never want to show my face in public again. I'm almost too scared to know what happened that night because I am afraid of what people are going to say. This is not how I want to be remembered.

I am dying of shame and guilt right now. My husbands family were down for my birthday and I had too much to drink. My husband accused me of hitting on his friend, I don’t think I did. But then I said so many horrible things to my husband and his family, I screamed and swore and just said the most degrading things. My husbands family have said if he doesn’t leave me they will disown him. Its 5 days in and I’m still having extreme anxiety over my behaviour. I can’t sleep because every time I close my eyes, I get flashbacks. I feel nauseous and sick. I’m not that person and have no idea how to deal with knowing I acted in such a way. I’ve sworn off alcohol now.

I’m so ashamed as well. I mix with hard liquor knowing that it would turn me crazy. And I’m only crazy toward my boyfriend that I’ve been with for 8 years. I get so crazy and was trying to fight him in front of the whole party for 4th of July at my best friends house. I feel so sad and disgusting at myself for this. I really want to quit drinking and I am going to do I hope I can be strong and not give up. Getting drunk does not benefit me and it makes the only man I love to hate me and not talk to me. I hope we will mend and I hope I can be strong and not drink again.

Yesterday I was with my boyfriend at a friend's house drinking heavily as we usually do. I had just gotten out of work and had not had much to eat all day. I was wasted but nothing too bad, just loud and a little obnoxious. Everything was fine until we got into the uber. We had been in the pool all day and when the uber arrived I got in with just my bikini top and shorts...not too bad right? (I have no recollection of this my boyfriend had to inform me of everything from this point on) Apparently I thought it would be cute to show my boobs and try and get on top of my boyfriend in the backseat. Stupid drunk, loud and slurred words. Saying I wanted to fuck him and how horny I was. Then when we finally got home of course all of our neighbors were out chatting it up. Then I get out of the car looking like a real piece of shit trying to jump on top of my boyfriend. I embarrassed my boyfriend and now I am mortified. Completely disgusted with myself. Alcohol has always caused me problems in life but for some reason I still drink. Why do I do this to myself?

Wow! I'm glad I found you guys! I have an anxiety for the past year about huge mess up at the block party last Summer! It was our second year in the neighborhood and nobody really knows us. I don't usually drink that much I had some wine and my husband kept telling me to stop drinking but this lady kept giving me jello shots this is when everything went to shits. On top of being depressed over some very sensitive matter I got drunk and made stupid desicions like saying stupid shit, almost kissing that lady on the lips, running from my husband and hiding from him etc to the point when one of the neighbors threatened to call the cops. I feel super embarrassed and I was not gonna attend this year because nobody would even say hello to me around here, but they never send an invitation. So now I just want to die from embarrassment. I wish I was just like Frank from '"shameless" though but I'm not....it seems like I messed up more then anybody else here. I guess people where i live are super judgemental but I bet they too messed up at least once in their life's, I know it's my actions and it's all my fault, and it was truly family gathering nobody even dances there though they hire a band. Never in my life I messed up that bad. I have to live with it now learn from it and just be careful with drinking alcohol.....

Today I feel awful. I had a date with a girl I have liked and she has been lovely to me and she was gorgeous! Finally after weeks of talking daily and connecting we arranged for a pub date. Me being so nervous due to meeting such a beautiful nicr woman I stupidly decided to buy 4 beers and pre drink 3 and have the forth in the taxi to her! Very silly decision I didn't eat either all day due to working and rushing to get ready.
I was half wasted when I met her and she was kind enough to have a bottle of wine waiting for me when I arrived. I grabbed the bottle and poured us 2 large glasses of wine and I guzzled it back in no time and again pouring another..... She was lovely and we were really connecting but something awful happened.
I blacked out drunk and came back to reality after 4 hours of not having a damn clue what happened. I woke up in the city alone in the street! I then looked down at my phone which had several miss calls from her and a Snapchat calling me "crazy and she is no longer interested" I replied asking why.... She then proceeded to tell me I had made a complete arse out of myself in the pub and to her and I left her alone in there! Apparantly ran back in over an hour later and then proceeded to talk madness to her. She blocked me on Snapchat and me still being drunk stupidly then decided to call her more than 10 times and I text her over 50 times ranging from explaining myself to being downright vile I can't even mention what I said to her..... i then proceeded to get more drunk sat in an alleyway and cried myself to the point I looked like I had a mental breakdown. People was approaching me asking if I needed help.
I ran home and cried to my family said silly things which they can't now let it leave their heads and I awoke this morning feeling so awful. That poor girl didn't deserve this behaviour at all. Not only did I ruin any chance with her but I said vile vile things and now i look completely insane to her. What I said is eating away at me as I can't forgive myself for what I said or how I acted to the poor girl.
I am now never going to drink yo that excess nor shall I even attempt another date until I get the help I need :(

I am so ashamed of myself for the scene I created last weekend. Got into a stupid competition with one of my friend. Drank so much that I don't remember anything. Didn't have the guts to face my friends the next day. I have lost self respect. More than anything I think that I have lost respect among my friends. How to overcome this feeling?

I am very happy today with my family. My name is Sabine living in USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.love a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email oduguspellcaster@gmail.com Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without stress.. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email oduguspellcaster@gmail.com

I am very happy today with my family. My name is Sabine living in USA, My husband left me for a good 3 years now, and i love him so much, i have been looking for a way to get him back since then. i have tried many options but he did not come back, until i met a friend that darted me to Dr.love a spell caster, who helped me to bring back my husband after 2 weeks. Me and my husband are living happily together today, That man is great, you can contact him via email oduguspellcaster@gmail.com Now i will advice any serious persons that found themselves in this kind of problem to contact him now a fast solution without stress.. He always hello, now i call him my father.contact him now he is always online email oduguspellcaster@gmail.com

I keep finding myself getting too drunk and doing regrettable, embarrassing things.
Last night I fell at the bar and had to be carried out by the bouncers cuz I was so wasted. A few weeks ago I got super wasted and went to bed and apparently woke up in the middle of the night and just started pissing on my friends feet who was sleeping on my couch. Another time I got wasted woke up in the middle of the night and pissed I’m the corner of my buddies living room.
These were definitely my most regrettable things. I’ve never been a mean drunk or promiscuous but my problem is always just getting too drunk and sloppy losing balance slurring words and it happens often although most times that I drink it doesn’t happen; it still happens too much that I’ve thought about quitting alcohol all together but I have too much fun with it.
21 years old and still struggling to control the liquor and not let it control me.

I got incredibly drunk once in my public library right down the street from my house and started playing the music super loud on my laptop. One lady kindly asked me to turn it down to which I replied, "you'll be closing soon". Then another two people came up to me asking me to turn it down to which I said "what you gonna do about it!!!" To which the gentleman replied "I will call the sheriff's department" and then I just started saying "That's a low blow bro!" Over and over. I promptly gathered my things and left and then started insulting all the librarians as I walked out. Soooooo embarrassing in retrospect. I know that not as bad as some of these atories but I honestly love the library and was even thinking of working here cause it is such a beautiful location and I am a bibliophile. Probably not going to happen. O want to write a letter of apology to them library staff for my behavior.

Its difficult. Because for me if i get drunk but dont do anything wrong i still get the same shame as when in the past i have done bad things. I know that when i see drunk people either just being really drunk or are actually doing silly things. I pretty much forget about it straight away, it doesnt bother me. But when its me i get a sinking feeling of dread. Im more out going when i drink so worry about how people see me. Its strange i think most of the torturing we do to ourselves after by over thinking, just makes it worse than it is. But its hard not to think and feel this way

Me just mad e a a** out of myself this Saturday only in front of 2 of my cousins a couple accuaitences and talked stuff to my BF over the phone and oh yeah started calling family in mexico crying like a complete fool omg how embarrassing!!cussed my boyfriend out and etc so I feel bad now my cusin was like that why i dont like kicking it with you when your drunk you so aggresive and a mess !!that ticked me off because she a bigtime drunk more than me But yeah she the type to not even take care of me scre her any your good [moderated] you know forgive your self sweety and move on no one is perfect !!

Your stories haven't helped me feel better about my drunken stoopers. I have made a huge a** out of myself numerous times but this one incident beats them all. So me and my best friend at the time went to her brothers Halloween party. I have severe social anxiety and i tend to drink way more than I should if I'm around people I don't know. I didn't really embarrass myself at the party besides being a little loud and trying to get a gay guys number. Ugh. Anyways, the problem was when I got home. I don't remember anything. I woke up at 10am the next morning with a text from my friend, saying to delete my Snapchat story. What did I post?! I posted videos of me topless, saying really nasty, dirty, provocative things. I also posted 3 topless pictures of me. All my co-workers and friends were on my Snapchat. They all saw it. Even better, there were 12 screenshots of me! I quickly delwted everything Even though the damage was already done. I was so mortified. Best of all, I broke up with my bf a few weeks before this and his friend saw my snaps and told him all about it. Way to kick a horse while its down. I still cringe thinking about it.

Not to one up everyone, but I might take the cake on this. I'd like to start b adding I'm 6'5, avid gym goer and about 285 lbs. so, here it goes.
I wen with my girlfriend to a winery/brewery to meet her friends/parents for drinks and outdoor fun, seeing it was the first nice day of spring. We had a great afternoon, playing board games while drinking outside of this winery, about 10 of us. After a few hours we decided to go back o he friends house and say goodnight to her parents. So, I bought a case of beer and pizza for everyone, honestly, I wanted o make a good impression for the ppl that are close to the woman I have grown fond of. After I got back with her friends otdiwnd from picking up the pizza, my night changed forever. Now at this point I've probably had a dozen or so beers over a few hours with little amount of food. Her friends bf offered me a shot of Jack honey. While everyone is looking at me to take the celebratory shot, I didn't think at all if this was a bad idea. I took it, and another. That moment is the last moment I remember until I remember siting in the back of a cop car, being taken to a county prison. Thy night, I was told I tried jumping off a 40 foot balcony, pushed my gf, split my head open somehow, had my gf's friend chase me around town for 2 hours, trying to calm me down, I ripped a railing off a house, attempted to punch out a windshield(no f-ing idea) and verbally berated everyone. To boot, I was pulled over, driving the opposite direction from my house, earning my first DUI. It has been 1 week since this happened. Every time I think about this, the deepest amount of depression sets in. My girlfriend, who I adore imennsley, has her friends not talking to her, and haven't said to her she should break up oth me, but it doesn't need to be said. I have treated this girl like my queen, with respect and honesty, aside of a bad 3 hour time frame. I don't know how to get over this, she breaks down crying every few hours, she doesn't want us to break up, but even tho I feel I was drugged or something and can't remember any of this, it will be the reasocso man things happen differently in my life. I feel like a complete waste of life. But letting er go will ply hurt her more and I know I'm far better of a man than got I was that night. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Nate.diehl50@yahoo.com

I’ve had a few embarrassing drunk moments and I want to share because it might help me. We had a uni class event and I was out with my whole cohort. I got very sloppy drunk. A lot of the night is gone from my memory. But what I do remember is clinging onto a guy for a lot of the night. I don’t know how far things went. But I got kicked out of the pub and he messaged me asking if I got home ok. I looked at his fb profile and it turns out he is married. Everyone in the class knew this but I’m new so I didn’t. A lot of the rest I don’t remember but all bad I’m sure. Sos.

I was at my friends gatho with around 15 of my good friends. I got drunk and i made out with a guy. Didnt seem like a big deal at the time, nor the next morning when my friend told me all the stuff i had done. Monday comes around and I confront this guy about slapping my best friends butt, because she obviously didnt like it. Take note that this guy who had slapped my friends butt was the same guy who had liked me for 2 years but was stuck in the best friend zone until i crushed his heart by getting a boyfriend. I tell him to have some respect and he retaliates by comparing him slapping her butt to me drunk kissing the guy. I had even asked if the guy was okay with it just to make sure i hadnt gotten mixed signals. But the guy who slapped my friends butt (lets call him Dave) exposes me (or tries to, im not too sure because i dont know if it was the truth) says the guy i made out with (lets call him bob) didnt want to kiss me and all these other things. Throughout the rest of the day i just got shit (it was purely banter but it was still hurtful) from mainly the guys and stuff. Im just conflicted on whether or not it was the truth, what Dave said. Because my best friend told me she also asked Bob if he even wanted to and he said yeah. I’m not sure if Dave was embarassed and just wanted to retaliate by making a lie and telling everyone about it or if t was the truth.

I'm so embarrassed and ashamed. I was doing so good, had my life together until I started drinking again this past week. Saturday I was working and this cute delivery guy I messed around with stops by. I haven't seen him for 3 weeks so after he does his delivery, he asks what time I get off and I told him 4 so his like ok i'll still be around then, stop by and visit me. So after my shift, don't know why I decided to drink shots. It hit me when I stop by the store he was at and the rest is a blur. I got arrested in front of him, I remember him talking to the police and my car got towed. I only got protective custody but from what I gathered from a few people, I nearly ran over somebody and I scraped my new used car. Scary and I feel so stupid. I live in a small town and I'm just so embarrassed. I wonder what he thinks of me now. I don't want to see him or face anyone for awhile but unfortunately I work in public and have to face it. Such a humiliating ordeal I just wanna cry and cry.

I got so drunk last night, i ruined this guy's 21st bday party. I was falling down and rolling around on the ground, grabbing guy's penises and being sloppy agressive and sleazy even though i have a boyfriend and i spilled beer all over his porch several times. I made a fool out of myself being loud and obnoxious

I'm hoping sharing will help me recover from the other night.
I went out with my fiance to his friend's 30th. I'd already had a long day at work (overtime on a Saturday), and hadn't eaten much. 5 glasses of wine, then a horrendous concoction some random girl created for three of us.
On wine #4, I acted really awfully towards a couple of blonde girls (friends of the birthday guy) for talking to my fiance (in front of me - I doubt he was trying anything on, and even if the girls were being flirty I was RIGHT THERE). I proceeded to very obviously flash my ring and loudly call him my fiance, announcing that we were getting married and basically marking my territory in front of them until they went away. He was humiliated, he told me later that had upset him the most, and that he was really turned off by my jealousy; he was insulted by my lack of trust, by my inference that he would even consider something like that, embarrassed that people saw me acting so awfully to other people and frightened that he was going to marry someone so controlling, so insecure. Anyway.
We all left the pub, went to the birthday boy's house where I danced for about 15 minutes before passing out on the couch, legs spread wide open. A guy made a comment, my fiance nearly got in a fist fight with him. He explained later that the guy wasn't being crude, but called me fat. I've put weight on lately and I'm very, very conscious, so that just adds to the humiliation. This was right in the centre of the room, and I'm mortified considering what I was wearing, what I must have looked like, what they must have said. People were laughing at me.
FI carried me into the bedroom, let me rest. A nice girl (the one who made the awful drink) sat with me, gave me water, looked after me, told me we've all been here, it's ok. I was crying, telling her I was mortified, I never do this. I never get this bad. She said it was ok. I threw up (in the bathroom, thankfully). I think fiance helped me, but it might have been the girl, I'm not sure. Went back into the room, and all of a sudden started yelling at my FI, calling him an arsehole for talking to the girls, how dare he, I was calling them sluts, etc etc (these girls are in the house as well, probably heard every word). The guy whose room it was was being nice, helping FI and my other friend, but he was like okkkayyyy and left when I started screaming at FI. I storm off, stumble through the party, sobbing, out the front door, pretty much fall down the stairs, out onto the street. I can see people looking over the balcony at me.
FI follows me, yelling at me, trying to keep me off the road. I just keep going (I do this when I'm drunk, I just run down the street like an escapee. I don't know what I'm running away from, but it's like I can't stop. It's dangerous and ridiculous). I remember him getting angry, saying he doesn't want to marry me anymore, he can't handle this. He flags a taxi down, but I don't have my bag. He puts me in the taxi, gives me $30 and sends the taxi off.
The rest was ok, I guess, it wasn't in public and while we both lost a bit of sleep, it's forgivable. But I humiliated both of us at the party. These are his close friends, I'm new to the group. They don't know me well, but I felt like they liked me. Now they see me as this crazy, jealous, clingy psycho who drunk-cries and passes out after a couple of drinks. That's how they'll remember me. And that's how HE'LL know his friends remember me. I feel like I've completely alienated both of us from his circle.
Yesterday we spent at home, recovering - from the drinking, and from the shame.
I don't think the wedding's off, but shit I feel like we can't go back from this. I realise everyone else was drunk, but I was the only one who made a real scene. I was the one who humiliated not only herself, but her man - their friend.
I've ruined not only my own friendships with these people but HIS. And that's the unforgivable thing, the thing I'm most ashamed of, and most afraid that will stain our relationship. He's told me he loves me, he's been really kind and gentle with me, but I can see that he's ashamed. I can see that he's concerned, and I'm so afraid that there's something that I've broken that can't be fixed.

I'm joining the party:
I'm not very good at drinking and when I used to get drunk I would get VERY drunk and do the stupidest most embarrassing stuff. Anyways...
One particular time I started drinking really early and I went to my then-boyfriend's house to hang out with friends. I blacked out at around 2pm and I woke up the next morning didn't remember a thing. People were telling me I was possessed and that I was doing this weird shuddering thing with my eyes and taking my clothes off and acting..... again possessed.
The worst part is I woke up and did not remember a THING. I was so embarrassed. Still am... But honestly thinking back on it now, it couldn't have been that bad... (right?
I just laughed it off. The next morning one of my friends was nice enough to notice how humiliated I was the next morning and said "It's ok, we all do stupid stuff when we're drunk". His reassurance in that moment has makes this memory a little more bearable, god bless him
I'm not friends with any of those people anymore which oddly makes me feel a lot worse about what happened... But anyways. Everyone else's stories really help. Thanks.