I have a similar story. I (19) was invited to a small party by a friend I’ve known for a couple years now, though we haven’t hung out much. It was at her house and her parents were out having a good time with their friends, so they weren’t home. She (my friend) invited 7 of her other friends from both school and work, so it was 9 of us in total. We mostly just talked, listened to music, and drank (albeit, pretty cheap and sweet liquor, which was my first mistake). First I just had a bottle, which had an alcohol percentage of 4.5, not high at all. Then we all had a shot of vodka. Then there were some gummies with CBD and THC passed around, and since I never had one before I decided to eat half of a gummy. And about 10 minutes after that I wasn’t really feeling much effect of anything, so I decided it was ok for myself to drink just a *little* bit more. Mind you, I ate a couple of times before I started drinking and was nibbling and sipping water while I was drinking, too, so I thought I would be safe from getting drunk. Wrong. I thought it was ok to drink some more vodka, about 4 shots worth in the span of 2 hours. I’m a 5’2 girl (who also doesn’t drink very often and didn’t drink nearly enough water at the time), so it effected me pretty quickly after about an hour-ish. I went from kind of shy from meeting new people, to a little more like a sociable, normal person, to cool, to very outgoing, to obnoxious, to drunk rather quickly. Luckily, the obnoxious and drunk parts didn’t come till the party was almost over, so some of the people had left by then. Needless to say, though, the cheap and sweet alcohol was a very bad call bc I vaguely remember walking to the parlor in my drunken stupor, dropping my phone (which now bears a large crack on its screen thanks to my clumsiness), sitting down, saying I don’t feel well, and having a bag put in front of me, then promptly barfing chunks into it, turning to my friend saying “I’m so sorry,” then turning back to the bag to barf once more. Somewhere in between there her mom (who had at some point during my drunken haze returned home along with my friends dad) gave me some hangover cure (my friend’s Korean) and then about 2 minutes later I was picked up by my stepfather. I never told my parents that I would be drinking, so naturally my mom was fuming when I came home at 00:00 piss drunk. Though neither of them found out that I blew chunks at my friend’s house either, I’m happy about that though bc I’d never live that down and would be grounded to high heaven. I went to bed when I got home after my mom tried to argue with me (I was drunk so that wasn’t happening), then I texted my friend when I got up hours later telling her I was so very sorry and that I don’t usually get like that when I drink (though I don’t drink often, I’ve drank large amounts, but have never ended up like that), and that next time I see her family I will apologize in person. My friend said that it was ok and that she’s glad I was ok and that I had a good time, but I still feel very ashamed and embarrassed. She hasn’t texted me again since then and it’s been almost a week now, so I don’t think she wants to talk to me and I want to respect her space, so I don’t plan on bothering her. I really appreciate her as a friend and I feel that my getting drunk and barf-fest along with my annoying behavior will make her not want to see me or hang out with me again, which I wouldn’t blame her bc I can hardly stand to look at myself right now. It’s likely that I won’t see her other friends again (not that I don’t want to, but they’re her friends not mine), but I do want to still be friends with my friend, though I feel like I’ve messed it all up and ruined our friendship. Also, my mom eventually talked to me and said that now I’m older and going out on my own I need to take better care of myself and take responsibility for my actions because getting drunk was reckless as I could’ve been robbed, raped, or even arrested (which in that circumstance feels highly unlikely, since it was a very small get together and pretty low key), since I’m technically underage to drink where I currently reside. Or that I could even choke on my own throw up (which scared me when she said that bc I thought she found out I threw up, but she meant it as an example, like “if I threw up”) and have to rely on the others to help me, and that how could I be sure I could I trust any of them to help me since I knew none of them personally and wasn’t that close to my friend (though I have a pretty good intuition about people and know she is a good person, so honestly I would trust her bc she already did take care of me and made sure I was ok). She also asked, “is that how you want to be remembered, the girl who got drunk when meeting her friends and then no one will want to invite you anywhere again or even worse,” as she put it, “be invited to parties because you’re the girl who got drunk,” which she said is worse. While it hurt to hear, I think she made a good point. Ultimately, I’ve decided that I need to be more conscious of what I drink and how much of it I intake and in what span of time. I don’t want to be a burden or an embarrassment like that again, and I’ve chosen to forgive myself and use it as a learning experience for how not to behave at parties and the importance of taking things slow so as not to go beyond my limits and realizing that there is no need to rush, I am there to have a good time I can remember.