My drinking has taken on a whole new level since my break up 3 years ago. I drink myself into oblivion every weekend, I have low self worth and zero confidence, I think that nobody loves me so why should I love myself?..thing is that I am a good person, when sober I am a fantastic mom, I work hard..but there's this deep rooted sense of self hatred.. I just feel like I don't belong in this world. So, on many nights of my drunken nights I end up kissing random dude(s)...I live in a small town so everyone sure knows of my antics and are definitely judging me... this last weekend was definitely the worst, I was kissing and grinding on this guy in the pub in front of lots of people, some have brought it up.. I have cried and I often wonder why guys look at me as easy, well its because of my drunken behaviour...I will remind you again I'm not at all like that on a daily basis. I'm ashamed of what I'm becoming, I feel my reputation, and that of my sons and families will be totally destroyed...
I know I need some intervention before it takes my life away..