Hi everyone,
I just read all the comments on this page, and for the first time in 2 weeks I feel less alone. At the same time, my heart bleeds for every one of you who is experiencing exactly the same thing as me.
My boyfriend and me are together for 4 years. I fell for him because he was the kindest guy I met in years. But already in the beginning of our relationship, some things were not quite right. After a month of dating he dissapeared for the first time. Nothing happened, no fight or anything between us. He just ghosted me from one day to the other. A few weeks later, he called, and said that he had a panic attack, related to the trauma from his ex girlfriend. I believed him. But from then on, he dissapeared every few weeks/months. For days, weeks, or one time even 3 months. Also, some times he suddenly could become very angry, out of nowhere. When I asked:"this isn't from trauma from your ex girlfriend, is it? Please be honest with me, what is wrong exactly?". He answered:"I don't know. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed"
I'm a highly sensitive person myself, I know what it feels like to be overwhelmed. But I never ghost people.
So I knew that he wasn't telling the truth.
And then the years passed. The silent treatments kept happening every few months.
And then this summer was better. He seemed more consistent, no more silent treatments or angryness anymore. But then, suddenly, 2 weeks ago, he cancelled last minute for a date with a very cold, distant whatsapp message. 3 days before he was still loving and kind, so I was shocked. But I stayed calm and loving and I replyed that I was dissapointed that he cancelled only our date. But not al the hangouts with his friends that same week. (He spends a loooot of time with his friends, but I've never made that a problem) I also replied that his mood seemed totally off all of a sudden, and that I was worried. I asked if we could talk about it and I even put a heart in the reply, to show him that I was not angry. But one second later, he blocked me on whatsapp and phone (not on social media). He has never blocked me in 4 years, so I am shocked.
At first I thought he had a very low mood again. But then I saw on IG that he was spending time with his friends, and was laughing (he is 46 years old). And I heard his yogateacher who said:"He acts as if everything is fine, he comes to yoga class every day", and seeing/hearing that was even more traumatizing. I'm completely shocked and heartbroken and I can't believe this is happening. I'm blocked/ghosted for more than 2 weeks now. I've been nothing but the kindest girlfriend in those 4 years, he said himself a couple of times that "I'm the kindest person he knows". So ... why is he doing this? During those 4 years there were a lot of times that I thought:"Maybe he is bipolar?", but one time I asked him this and he became so angry that I didn't mention it ever again. But now, with reading all those comments, I think he is bipolar indeed. 😔