I've never done real self-harm before aside from shallow scratches that don't really bleed, but that had been years ago... Recently however, I've had such thoughts a fair few times. I didn't really focus on them however, but recently I had a dream where I cut myself on the neck. It wasn't really a fatal cut, just about 1 cm deep and 5 cm long, but then I was able to see something, like holes through it? It freaked me out because I have trypophobia, but when I woke up, that wasn't the only thing that freaked me out; it was the fact that I was cutting myself in the dream. Even when I used to "harm" myself I've never actually done anything that causes actual bleeding, so to have a dream like that out of nowhere, especially when I've had thoughts of self-harm, freaks me out. Do you maybe have an idea of what's going on? I hope you're not too busy, but if you are, that's okay!