Yes this is abuse. No one has the right to call you a C*** or b**** any self respecting husband would call you his sweatheart or my loving wife. Every couple has their own arguments but he is making you feel bad about yourself.He wont from what you are saying doing things with you like swimming with the children why? because he is a selfish man. Thinking only of his NEEDS his FEELINGS his TIME his SPACE. Never helps you in the home when he creates some of the mess and he can clean his own clothes he is a grown man. Making you feel like crap for not having HIS items ready or expecting you to pay more than himself. What is he doing with his extra money? Seems he is not interested in you or the family life and does only what he wants because he can? Does this make sense. Never feel it is you who needs help as he wants you to feel insecure, lower your self esteem, make you feel worthless to make him feel better and in control. You need to be happy you have one life and it is not to be put on the earth to be spoken to that way or to put up with this form of abuse. Read it again all you have said and make it really sink in just what he is doing. Your life and if the children are hearing this form of behaviour they pick up on things it is NOT a two way happy relationship from what you are explaining. Hope you see the light x